Hello again!!
Okay so these past few days this medicine works like a charm. I am feeling what what it feel like to feel normal and not normal. I know normally you dont feel your heartbeat and abnormally you constantly feel your hearbeat. My mind and body is coming to terms with this not completely yet but it is. This weekend I went out with my sister, cousin and aunt. I was so scared that I might have an attack or start breathing funny or something wrong. But I chose to ignore those toughts and it went fine. I did have instances where my heartrate increased and became loud but I did my breathing exercise and try to distract myself with the things in the mall. Me and my cousin talked about mental illness because she has been through something herself not anxiety but her own problems. that was nice although it was cut short... So I stepped out of my room and explored the world... well just the mall and it seemed like a new experience. I am so used to staying indoors and now in my room all day everyday, that I got tired really quickly and became drained. My eyes were red and I was pale. I was tired. I do go to the gym so its lack of exercise. I think its lack of human exposure that drained me.... My mind and body has been trying to play tricks on me lately though. It tells me to check my pulse. I refuse its been a week or so and I am proud of myself. As tempted as I may be, even now as I write this, I will not... A new symptom has popped up and it makes me feel like I have the wind spand of a windmill. Like I can hold my breath forever and be fine. but I think thats due to my anxiety as well because it is a common trait among anxiety sufferes to hold their breath without knowing so it makes it seem like i can sing a note forever when in fact I cant. I have to to get that under control.. hmmmm...
I guess thats all so bye bye!!
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